


It started with a weekend in New York

by mrsashtonfletcherirwin



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: First Love, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2396588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsashtonfletcherirwin/pseuds/mrsashtonfletcherirwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Piper gets back stage tickets to see 5 seconds of summer curtosy of her mega rich, mega beautiful best friend who accompanies her to the show. She knows that the boys will obsess over her all night, which she doesn't mind as she's used to it. But when ashtons places his hand on HER thigh while he sits in between the 2 girls on the tour bus before the show she doesn't quiet understand  or believe it and neither can she believe anything that happens after that..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, so this is my first story and I hope you like it! There is a reference to past and present self harm through out the story so if that triggers you please stay safe and only read on if you can x  
> Also I have dyslexia so im really sorry for any mistake of any kind in this story, just read through them, thanks x

CHAPTER ONE

I was so excited. This car journey seemed to take forever despite that fact it was the newest, top of the range BMW, which I had been reminded of 4 times already today. We had the lads blasting from the radio; of course Tait had the deluxe edition of the CD. I wore skinny black jeans that had a rip in the left knee, an open black flannel shirt with a cami top underneath and my favourite pair of new balance trainers. Tait wore levi short shorts, a blink-182 top (of course her favourite song was “all the small things”) and heeled boots. She looked gorgeous. Her blonde hair fell past her shoulder blades and the shadow from her cheek bones were razor sharp against her pale ivory skin.  I should of probably made more of an effort with what I looked like seeing as we were meeting the guys after the show. Tait’s father was head of a big company over in New York that had something to do with the band and so he had got us back stage tickets. My skin still looked tanned even against the black of my flannel, my lazy brown hair feel in natural ringlets which flew around with enthusiasm as I took part in some serious head banging to the instrumental part of Kiss Me Kiss Me. 

The air was different here compared to England’s. the heat felt like warm kisses on my skin, well it’s not as if I’d know what that felt like, and it smelt of cinnamon rolls, America was defiantly beautiful. England was cold and dark and dingy, but it was my home and I missed it. When we finally pulled up at the arena after the lengthy journey it hit me that this time yesterday I was back in England, and now I was in the Big Apple! We were told to stay in the car by Tait’s father who quite frankly scared the hell out of me, he had to go in and see the boys’ manager about, Tait had explained it to me on the way here but it went in one ear and out the other to be honest. She sat painting her nails a deep pink and pouting with frustration when she went out of line. She looked amazing even then, even off guard. I was nothing compared to her really, I think that’s why I hadn’t bothered dolly-ing myself up to meet the guys. I knew their poor jaws would drop when she walked into the room and theyd just stare, everyone always does. I looked down at my own nails which were chewed with a bed of chipped black varnish on them. Tait looked over at me, I could feel her icey grey eyes burning into my cheek. We hadn’t really spoke that much on the 2 hour drive from the airport, which wasn’t like us, she’d been my best friend since the first day of year 1. 

“So, what were you sobbing at last night in bed, Piper?” I didn’t look up at her, I couldn’t face her glare. I just continued to play with my nails and replied

“Nothing? I just missed home…” my voice trailed off and I heard her roll her eyes at me.

“Don’t like to me, Pip. I know what you did last night. I thought you said you’d stopped that? You promised me?” her voice her my heart, it was filled with genuine sadness and I felt like I’d let her down more than ever,

“I didn’t do anything, Tait, I-“ 

“So why didn’t you wear that cute black dress I picked out for you? You know, the short sleeved one?” she cut me off so quickly I could even think of a believable reply. I spluttered on about how it didn’t look right with my trainers and that I’d put on a bit of weight so I didn’t feel hot in it anymore (I never felt hot in it, I just told her I did when she picked out for my from American Apparel last year). Again, she rolled her eyes and continued to paint the index finger. I looked out of the black tinted window at the tour bus we were parked next to. It was huge, at least 6 times as big as this 4 by 4 car. Suddenly, I saw the door of the bus open and out stepped Luke. He strolled around with his phone launched in the air; his nose was wrinkled as he bit on his lip ring. He looked annoyed, probably because he couldn’t get signal. I elbowed Tait in the arm to get her attention making her paint the skin of her finger by accident,

“PIPER!” she screamed. Lukes head shot at the car, but it was okay because the windows were blacked out, he couldn’t see me. Without taking my eyes off his I whispered

“Tait look, its Luke” nodding my head towards the blond giant stood only feet away from us. I could hear Tait’s heart accelerate in her petite chest, there was no mistaking she was a Hemming’s girl. Without warning, Tait flung open her car door and rushed out. I hurled my hand to grab her’s but she was already gone. My eyes followed her move around the back of the car and over to Luke. I ducked down onto the seat peering sheepishly over at the couple. Even through the glass was dark I could see his cheeks burning as he smiled at the blonde girl in front of him. I saw her hand him her phone and he began to type into it before taking a photo with her. All of a sudden there came a thick voice from the tour bus door. Holy shit, it was Ashton. Now, I’m not a typical 5SOS fan, I don’t want to jump on them and have them pin me up against a wall, but there was no denying that Ashton was one of the hottest guy’s I’d ever seen, even more so in real life. Tait smiled at boy then threw a devilish smile at my window and my heart froze. 

“Don’t you dare you bitch” I whispered, but it was way too late. I heard her silky voice shout “Hey Ash, I hope it’s okay if I call you that, I have someone that really wants to meet you”. She walked over to the car, her long legs striding one in front of the other until she finally reached the car door, she pulled it open with her Cheshire Cat grin,

“Get up Pip, look who it is!” she screamed with delight. I shook my head violently at the girl she but she wouldn’t have any of it. She grabbed my flannel and dragged me from the vehicle into the afternoon blaze of New York.


	2. 2

The tour bus was cool, there was Blink-182 CD piled on the table accompanied by Some sum-41 and All Time Low. I was sat about a foot away from Ash on the stretched out sofa listening to Tait talking about how we were both really excited to be seeing them later on tonight and how we we’re going to rush to the front row as soon as the private doors opened. Luke laughed at her and smiled, probably hoping that she’d keep her promise and be front of the crowd tonight. She was putting on some weird American-ish accent, I didn’t know if it was nerves or because she knew Luke liked American girls. I saw out of the corner of my eye Luke rest his hand on the rest of the sofa behind her back, causing Tait to look over at me and give me a subtle wink. I shook my head and looked away to my left forgetting who I was sat next to. Ashton had defiantly moved closer since we sat down.  

“Hey”, he smiled that smile at me and my heart fell out of my chest, “so what’s your name seeing as your friend didn’t actually tell me…” He was right, after Tait had dragged me from the car she shoved me into Ashton’s arms and walked off with Luke to the tour bus. He was warm and strong  and he made my knee’s go week, but I refused to feel the butterflies in my chest when he hesitated to let go. 

“My name is Piper Bannini” I said quietly, I looked up into his big green eyes and watched his smile grow even bigger across his tanned face,

“That’s a beautiful accent you have, are you English? You’re last name sounds Italian but our friend sounds like she’s from LA?” Tait’s head spun around to look at the Australian. She flashed him a huge smile and said,

“She is half Italian and half English if you must know, I’m half Irish” giving him a wink then returning to her conversation with Luke. He looked down at me and once again showed me his dimples.

“I’m Ashton Irwin, drummer of this really lame band called 500 years of winter” I giggled at him and that smile I had already fallen in love with returned to him face. 

“Stop it, Piper” a stern voice boomed in my head, it was my own voice, “you’re just a girl he’s never heard of, he isn’t and never will be interested in you. And even if he was it would only be for the night” I felt a cold glaze form over my eyes as I looked away from the drummer and into my lap. 

“Hey what’s wrong green eyes?” Ash asked gently. I felt my chest collapse as his hand fell on my knee. I suddenly jumped up away from his grip and looked over at Tait,

“We need to go now Tait, your dad told us to not leave the car” I looked over to Luke, “it’s been so lovely meeting you and hopefully we’ll see Michael and Calum later too but we do need to go” 

“that’s fine, we’re gunna see you in a few hours anyway,” he said squeezing Tait’s knee, she chuckled as she stood up, “I’m sure the other guy’s will really like you both, Mikey will especially like you, Piper”. I felt my face burn red. I spun around to face the door and noticed that Ashton’s face looked like thunder and he was staring at Luke. Both the boys followed us back to the car, just in time as I saw the short stature of Tait’s father heading over to us. Ashton opened the car door for me and I slide in without looking at him,

“I’ll see you tonight then, try and get to the front row?” she said shyly. When I looked up at him he was smiling softly at me,

“I’ll try, I’m sure you guys will put on a really good show, so yeah um… I’ll see you later” an involuntary smile crept onto my face and I felt my cheeks turn crimson once again. For some reason we both our gazes seemed to be drawn to Tait and Luke who were slowly kissing, Tait sat in her seat while luke was hunched behind the door. I felt so embarrassed I didn’t know where to look. Ashton threw me a sympathetic grin and walked around the car to the blonde boy that had attached himself to my best friend,

“Come on mate, you can do that later, daddy’s coming” Ash said nodding over to Tait’s father who was only a few feet away. Luke quickly pulled away from Tait before whispering “see you tonight” into her ear. 

“B-O-Y-S” came a long dull voice from the other side of the car, “nice to see you again, where are the other 2? Any way no time for that, I need to take these 2 to the salon to get ready for tonight’s show, your’e going to look beautiful aren’t you princess?” he said looking at his daughter. She nodded sweetly as luke muttered “she already does” under his breathe just loud enough for her to hear.

“Are you okay Ash, you look distracted?” Tait’s father asked,

“No I’m fine Jim, just a little… tired” he lied as he looked at me.


	3. 3

I felt bad all the way to the salon; I’d treated Ashton like he was a no body, 

“But you know why he was being nice to you, he only wants to get into your pants” the voice in my head said.

“So, what do you think of Ash, Pip?” she was smiling at me, not in a friendly way, more in an are-you-two-going-to-fuck-later-or-what way,

“He’s cute I guess…” she continued to look at me in that way,

“No way, Tait, I’m not gunna hop into bed with him so get it out of your head. I’m not just gunna lose my virginity to someone just because they are someone?” the smile left her face as she rolled her eyes at me. Tait had lost it about 2 years ago when she was 15 to a guy who played for the under 21’s at Tottenham, whereas me on the other had still had my virginity locked away somewhere safe, so safe even I didn’t know where it was.

At the salon I had my makeup done, I had to admit that the girls there did a great job, but I still felt... ugly. Tait looked magnificent as per usual, she had had her hair curled and her eyebrows threaded, her face looked carved and soft all at the same time. 

“How do i look?” she asked as we walked out of the salon

“gorgeous of course, babe” she opened her arms out as if she was going to hug so obviously I did to, but instead of her embracing me she grabbed my arm and yanked up the sleeve,

“Piper, you lied to me” she screamed as I snatched away from her hold. My eyes shot around the busy New York street and I felt my face turn scarlet. Her eyes filled up and a tear fell down her cheek. How dare she do this to me? Does she think I enjoy doing this to myself? I hate it, it makes me feel sick, but to quote John Green “Pain demands to be felt”, but I didn’t want to lash out at her, she would never understand because she’d never had a mental illness which I had to respect.

“Don’t cry, baby, you’ll smudge your makeup, I’m sorry I-“

“I’m supposed to be your best friend, Pip” her watery eyes gazed down at me as she cut me off from my apology, “I love you, why do you do this? Why do you hide this from me?” I felt even worse than I did before. Tait snivelled, curling her nose in this way she did and pinched the tears from her eye lashes,

“Come on, I don’t want to ruin the day I mean in a few hours’ time we’ll be in bed with 5SOS!” she exclaimed,

“Well, you will. I’ll just sit on my phone and wait for you to finish and anyway how are we supposedly meant to stay out all night have sex with famous guys when we’re meant to be back at our hotel room by 1? The concert finishes at 11 that means we only have 2 hours-”

“Stop worrying, Pip. We aren’t sharing a room with my dad? He’ll never know what time we go back to the hotel? And besides I’ll need more than two hours with Luke” she said winking at me, throwing her head back in a fit of giggles,

“You’re disgusting” I smirked as she grabbed my hand and pulled me down the street to go shopping.

2 hours later we were back in our hotel room. Tait is running about screaming because she doesn’t know what to wear as I sit on the bed listening to the 5 Seconds Of Summer album, trying to get the image of Aston’s smile out of my head.

“Do I wear the red dress or the blue dress?” she asked. She did some modelling his one time for American Apparel as she got scouted whilst shopping there with me, for some unknown reason we were both asked if we were interested but I was way to shy for that, Tait of course was all up for it, so she always got 50% off the clothes there,

“Wear the red one, it makes you look slutty” I joked as she ran about looking her left high heel,

“Thanks” she said as I slipped out of her clothes and pulled on the red dress,

“Wait I was joking, did you not hear what I said?” I stuttered,

“it doesn’t bother me, at least I know I’ll look hot for the lads tonight, and seeing as I’m wearing the red one you can’t wear the other, blue is your colour, baby, we can match”

“There’s no way I’m wearing that blue dress, not with my arm…” I looked down at the raised red cuts that burnt the inside of my upper arm, “I just can’t”. Tait sat down next to me; I rested my head on her shoulder. She made me feel so safe, I loved her for it.

“Come on, Pip. I tell you what you can wear my leather jacket you love over the top? You look so great in it. And besides you need to show off you figure, it’s amazing, babe!” I looked down at myself. I was sat in my underwear (matching white lace I might add, Tait forced me too) and the angle wasn’t very flattering. My breast’s looked  huge, well they are anyway, and my stomach had a little roll in it. I went to open my mouth but she stopped me before I could get a word out, “And don’t bullshit me with this ‘I’m fat’ shit because you’re not. You remind me of Ms Monroe, she had all the curves and so do you. You’re a size 10 the same as me, Olive (she called me that because of my olive tanned complexion and also olive green eyes, sweet and clever to be honest), and I’m not fat. So take your pants off and get in that dress, you don’t want a VPL do you?” I cocked my head to the side, “Visible Pantie Line”, she said slowly, “gosh Pip, where have you been?” she rolled her eyes as she applied a scarlet red to her small lips. I wondered into the bath room to shower and the slide on the dress of doom and of course kept my panties on.


	4. 4

We got to the arena early and fans already consumed the street leading up to it. When they saw our car pull into the private car park screams erupted and a wall of frantic waves appeared. I laughed to myself in the back seat of the car, it was so weird how normal girls, from normal schools, who were part of the "5SOSFAM" were waving and screaming at me? Just because we'd pulled into a certain drive way... I decided then that i never wanted to be famous, it was creepy. we pulled up into our parking space again next to the big black bus and clambered out of the car. Tait looked amazing even in the slutty red dress. I waddled along to the private entrance in Tait's black wedge heels and the stupid dress she made me wear. I felt so uncomfortable in it, my boobs looked huge and so did my legs. I remember at school people used to call me and laugh at me because I was the first girl in my year to reach a size DD, everyone used to say "boys dont like boob's they like arses" which go me down a lot, especially when my best friend had nice, petite size 32B boobs. 

The arena was surprisingly cold compared to outside and a small shuddered ran down my back sending goose bumps over my skins. Tait and I sat around for a while whilst her dad had gone to find the manager; I could feel Tait's body radiating heat. I looked at her and she was smiling softly at her hands, she looked shy and innocent- she never looked like that.

"I'm scared" Tait whisper. Her eyes locked onto mine, they were clouded and distracted even though she was looking straight at me,

"of what?" I replied trying to sound chirpy but my voice creaked with weakness, I was scared about what was scaring Tait, she was the brave one, she was my rock - if she was scared then I was fucked,

"I'm going to fuck Luke Hemmings, but what about if I'm really bad at it?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, her words were so abrupt they seemed to hit me in the face like a bucket of cold water, "I mean I know I'm great in bed but I'm so nervous and I never get nervous about having sex, its my thing? What if he doesn't even remember my name in the morning? What if it gets out about what we did, the whole of the internet will hate me for having sex with him. They're not our little band from Australia any more, Pip, they're famous." I could hear the concern in her voice and she was right, what if something happened and it got out she'd fucked Luke? I knew how some of the girls on twitter and instagram could be and it would really hurt Tait if it happened to her.

"Don't do it then? If you're scared of all these "what if's" then dont? or just keep really fucking quiet about it..." I saw a smirk come across the girls face, 

"yeah right, as if I WONT do it I mean com-" suddenly her eyes shot past my head. She looked straight past me and her face turned an even paler ivory. I slowly turned my head to look down the hall way to see Luke walking towards us, well towards Tait. Next him stood a tall pale boy with bright purple hair with flicks of lilac in it, he smiled at me as our eyes locked. I shot my head back around to Tait who was standing up now, arching her back and fake yawning, her hands stretching upwards showing off her small structure,

"About time, Hemmings, we've been sat here about 20 minutes!" I could feel the purple haired boys gaze burying into the back of my neck as they finally came and stood next to where I was perched, but I couldnt bring my self to meet it again, 

"Well im here now, baby, but only for 5 minutes - we're on in an hour but we have to sound check.. wait actually you can come and watch if you want? And you Piper?" I jumped as my name left his lips, had he really remembered MY name?  
"So your name's Piper? That's the cutest thing I've ever heard" my name sounded even sweeter coming from michaels mouth, but it wasn't the same as when Ashton has said it. I suddenly remembered that Ash was pissed off with me because of early and my stomach did a triple back flip. I stood up and looked at the tellietubby stood next to me and raised one eye brow at him,  
"Oh.. yeah. . Im michael but you can call me mikey", he stressed the word "you" and I felt a little part of me quiver, "come on," michael continued as he grabbed my hand, "lets go sound check".

His hands were as cold as mine and we walked to the enormous arena room. I felt so uncomfortable holding his hand, for some stupid reason I felt myself looking over my shoulder every 30 seconds to see if Ashton was anywhere near us, but Mikeys grip was so firm there was no way id get out of it anyway.

we walked around for a while, Luke messed about on Ashton's drums before showing off his vocal skills to Tait. She picked up his guitar and stummed a few notes that we'd learnt in music class earlier this year. Luke came up behind her and plucked strings too, showing her where to put her fingers. His body was pressed up tight against hers and I saw a flicker of something naughty flash across her face, but I could tell she was still scared. I was suddenly snapped away from my day dream and I realized Mikey still held my hand, from the other side of the arena room I heard a cough, not a cough you get when youre ill but a fake cough when someone wants your attention. It was Ashton. Shit. He walked fast over to us as I attempted to pull my hands from Mikeys grasp but he wouldn't let go. i remembered hearing somewhere that Mikey was ticklish so i launched my hand at his side moving up under his tshirt onto his bare skin, the boy yelped with delight and fell to the floor laughing. He looked up at Ashton who was now stood over me, his face was harsh and he looked really pissed off. Mikey stood up and I took a step away from him, I couldnt bare Ashton's stare that I had locked onto, I couldnt move my eyes away from his, he scared me.

"Oh no you don't you get back here", Mikey yelped as he threw his arms around me and looked at Ashton again, "Ash, have you met Piper? Isn't she gorgeous?" My face flamed up at his words I tried to wriggle free from the boys strong embrace,

"You know I've met her", Ashtons words were cold and stern as he took a step towards me and I felt Michael loosen his grip a little, "I'm the one that told you she was coming tonight, remember?" his voice trailed off into an angry huff as Michael finally let his arms fall before he spun me around and put his hands on my broad hips,

"So wait, THIS is the girl yoU were on about? I know you said she was beautiful but... I thought your type was more the girl Piper came with? You DID say she was more your type earlier" I felt my heart drop to my feet as those words left his mouth. I wanted to ground to swollow me up righ there in the middle of that gigantic room. This time I pulled away from Michael so violently he freed the straight away.

"LOOK", I shouted at both the boys, "I dont know what this is or who you think you are but im not going to be anyones 'type' or anyones girl for the night or what you guys call the girls you fuck then never talk to again. I have more respect for myself" michaels face dropped as I shouted at him and I felt horrible so I quickly said "obviously this is nothing against you Mikey youre lovely and I know we'll be great friends by the end of the night, especially when we've got some drinks down us later I will wreck you at Mario Kart, but you..." I turned to Ash who looked as though he was about to burst into tears, his bottom lip quivered slightly as a single tear rolled down my cheek "if Tait is your type then it tough fucking luck because im sure she'll be having her way with Luke tonight and not you- but dont worry you wont have to put up with me, "second best" ill just hang out with Michael and Calum. Im sorry im not blonde and tall and beautiful but dont ever make a girl feel special then tell your friend you prefer another girl, especially when that other girl is my BEST FUCKING FRIEND." I looked down as more tears fell down my burning face. I waited for a few seconds for Ashton to scream back at me but nothing came. I saw a tear fall to the ground next to my little puddle id created, but it wasnt my tear this time.. it was his. I looked up at michael slowly avoiding looking as the other boy stood next to me,  
"Mikey? Could you please show me the way to the bathroom? I want to clean up my awful face before the big show!" I tried to sound as excited as I possibly could but my voice creaked half way through my sentence. I was petrified of how angry I had just got at Ashton,

"Sure, Piper" Michael shot Ashton a sad look and then linked his arm around mine, showing me to the back stage bath rooms.


	5. Chapter 5

I pushed open the big wooden door leading to the ladies toilets but just before I walked in I felt Michaels cold hand grab mine once again,  
"hey Piper, I'm sorry about all that you know. Ashton honestly didn't mean that he preferred your friend, he just said she was usually more his type... I think he said something like 'but Piper seems different' I didn't mean to make you guys fight I know that's not what youv payed all this money for to come and meet us for, its unfair. if I can do anything for you then let me know" he said as his eyes flickered up at mine and I felt a tight squeeze in my chest,  
"thanks mikey" a smiled crawled onto his face when I called him by his nick name, "would it be cool if I hung out with you and calum tonight then? I don't wanna get in the way of Tait with Luke..."  
"of course! that'll be fine! more than fine that'd be amazing!" he coughed and let go of my hand I think he was trying to calm down a little, trying to play it cool? "and don't think iv forgotten what you said about Mario kart- im holding you against that" he winked at me as I blushed and walked into the bathroom.

When Mikey and I got back to the back of the stage we had left to get to the closet toilets there was no sign of Ashton... or Tait for that matter,  
"shit" Michael breathed as a group of girls erupted into screams when Michael walked onto the stage to stand with Luke. "Wait when did they let in the fans?" i wondered. the screams immediately stopped when the girls spotted me. I heard a few people whispering "who the fuck is SHE?" and so on. I felt so out of place and completely froze on the spot behind Michael, who towered over me.  
"Luke", he said, "wheres Tait gone?" Luke turned and looked at me quickly and said  
"she's with Ash, he stormed off as soon as you two left. she said she felt really bad for what Pip said and ran after him. Theyd been gone for like 10 minutes so the people who run this arena had no choice but to let the fans in that had bought the sound check tickets. I don't know where they are but Ash has really fucked up this sound check meet and greet thing for all of us."  
my heart plummeted thinking about what those 2 were doing, so did Luke's I think, "Pip you can go stand with the fans now if you want? you don't have to hag out with us losers up here it'd be more fun down there" I heard 1 fan shout  
"WHY DONT YOU COME DOWN HERE THEN LUKE" and he cringed, he put his lips to the mike and stuttered  
"urgh, im.. im sorry this is taking so long you guys, thanks for um.. being patient and stuff we love you" and the roaring started again.  
Mikey walked me down the steps to the barrier and gave me a quick hug, "Ash will come around babe, don't worry he's just... speak of the devil"  
I turned and saw Ashton and Calum both walking onto the stage together, calum grabbed the mike and shouted,  
"LOOK WHO I FOUNDDDD!" and the girls went wild.  
I caught ashton giving Michael a dirty look, then he gave me a glance, our eyes met and my throat stung whilst I held back a ball of tears, we simultionsly looked away

Tait finally reappeared and we hopped over the barrier despite our short dresses. as we leaned up against them I could feel the stares of the 100 girls behind the barrier with us buring into my neck. The boys began to sound check and the girls around us screamed and sang along. I did not. I looked over at Tait next to me who was glowing, "huhm I wonder why" I whispered under my breathe, but some fucking how she heard me  
"what did you say?" she hissed at me, I looked at her and she was mad...  
"nothing, nothing I just.." I stumbled on my words, "where did you go with Ashton, what did you 2 do?" I looked into her eyes as I asked her, her face turned bright red with anger  
"how dear you, Pip" she whisper-screamed at me,"i ran after Ashton because I swear you nearly broke his heart with what you said. we didn't do anything, we sat back stage as he cried. you know hes emotionally unstable, remember all the rumors about him and self harming? you of all people should know better."  
I felt awful. she was right, I had no right to talk to him like that and to assume theyd done something while I was gone.  
"I'm sorry babe, lets just forget about it. im sorry for insinuating things that weren't true I know youv got Luke tonight" I smiled as I said this and so did she, I knew I was off the hook,  
"yeah and it looks like youv got mikey!" she winked, before I could reply I heard the music stop and the screams began

"so we're gunna do some Q&A kinda stuff now so hands up if youv got a question!" Calum said with a massive smile, he was cute bless him, I couldn't wait to meet him later!  
"god that reminds me of school!" luke said and the girls all laughed but he looked straight at Tait to see if she laughed, which she did as she gave him a small wink,  
"I'v got one!" the girl next to me shouted at the top of her voice. she was cute, damn she was hot. I must of looked awful stood next to her. she has Aruban hair and blue eyes and an amazing smile.  
calum looked at her and smiled, "yes you with those gorgeous eyes! whats your name and question honey?" she blushed scarlet at Calum and said  
"my name is Lola! and my question is..."  
she began to ask her question and I zoned out as I studied how beautiful she was. I felt so insecure and paranoid stood next to her I tried to stand as far away from her as possible which didn't really work as we were all packed together.  
I was drawn away from my spell of thoughts when people began to shout again. this one girl a few rows back was picked by calum to ask a question and she said  
"hi my names Suzie and my questions for Michael!"  
Michaels face light up when he heard his name, "omg me? ok what is it sweetie?"  
"well.. I just wanna know... whos that girl was that came on stage with you? the one now stood in the front row." her voice was harsh and I felt my face turn a ruby shade as I looked around and every pair of eyes was one me. I looked up at Michael who was starring at me with a little smile on his face. what the hell is he going to say?  
"ah well her name is Piper and shes a lovely fan that was BURSTING the toilet out side in the queue, so she nipped in real quick and I bumped into her coming onto the stage!" I smiled at him as he winked at me, he pulled that off well!  
"yeah" a voice came from the back of the stage," shes no one don't worry, only a fan like all you lovely people" Ash scolded at me even though his voice was sweet as sugar to the other fans. I felt the lump in my throat start to get bigger as Michael turned to him and shot him an evil look. wow that boy could be quite scary.  
"awh okay thanks", the girl said, "I thought it might be something like that, no way is she pretty enough to be a secret girlfriend or anything!" the entire room burst into laughs as the lump in my throat escaped and a bundle of tears fell down my face. I pushed past people to run back to the bathroom I was at only 20 minutes before. I heard Taits voice screaming out multiple curse words as I ran down the hall to the big wooden door and the voice of Michael telling her that "that remark was kinda shitty". as much as I tried to bring myself to be okay, the laughs of the girls ran through my head like a thunderstorm in winter.


	6. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gunna be such a crap chapter im sorry:(  
> also very sorry for any mistakes that's theres been so far. I do check my chapter atleast 6 times but as I said im yslexic so theres only so much I can do x

when I heard knocking on the door of the toilet I was slumped over, I knew it was Tait. I slowly opened the door and she pulled me up into a hug. We didn't talk much, she just told me to ignore that bitch and that "you still look beautiful as hell even with mascara running down your face" adding a little wink making me blush. before leaving the bathroom to go back to the concert that I could hear had already started, I dared my self to look in the mirror - and I looked a complete mess. I pulled a baby wipe out of my clutch bag and removed all sign of make up off from my face, and I looked like my normal self again. 

the first half of the show seemed to zoom by. Tait and I were now sat back stage as Taits dad had explained the situation I had been in before and of course he explained who he was, and security let us straight through. The boys played so well and every now and again I caught mikey throwing a smile my way.. and ash throwing a frown. it was soon the 10 minute interval and Luke was already dragging Tait way to god knows where to do god knows what. Calum and Michael perched next to me and we chatted away while Ashton sat by himself despite being beckoned over numerous times. I really was getting sick of this boy. 

it was 2 minutes until they boys were due back on and Luke and Tait were no where to be seen.  
"come on Ashton, we need to go on soon" Calum called over to Ash who was chugging at his seconds bottle of water. he slowly looked over at us and stood up. As he began to walk over to us he stumbled and fell flat on his face on the hard ground, an ear splitting crack traveling around the back stage area.  
"ASHTON" I screamed accidently as the 3 of us ran over to see if he was okay. the boy sat up and began laughing as if the fact he was bleeding from his temple was the funniest thing in the world, and I started to realize that that water wasn't water at all,  
"Ashton you stink of vodka", Calum screamed at the boy as he attemped to drag him to his feet but Ash just smack his hands away and stayed sat on the floor, "why have you got yourself into this mess you fucking idiot, we're on in 2 minutes whats wrong with you?!"  
Ashton looked up at Cal and carelessly flipped him off, laughing at himself sending Calum over the edge as he began to scream and shout kicking the wall next to us. Michael turned to follow Calum and I tried to follow him but just before I turned I felt a hot hand grab onto my wrist and I was yanked to the floor. I fell onto ashtons lap and he put his other hand around my waist whilst tightening his grip on my wrist.  
"why do you have to be like this to me, Green Eyes?" he slurred into my neck. I could taste the vodka in his breath, "Michael doesn't want you forever, he just wants you for tonight, do you not think you deserve better?" he suddenly got very serious starring into my eyes. soon the grip around my wrist had become unbearable and I seriously thought it was about to break. I let out a loud scream at the pain and ashton let go, shuffling away from me like a small child bringing his knees up to his chest and dropping his head. Michael and Calum ran over to me, Mikey picked me up by my waist and I tunred into his shoulder beginning to cry like the wimp I was,  
"What the fuck, Ashton, look at her wrist!" Michael yelled as he lightly grabbed my arm to inspect the brusises that were quickly forming around my wrist, "look what you've done to her!"  
at this point Ashton Stood up slowly grabbing onto the wall fro support, letting go of the anger he was feeling inside, "don't fucking judge me Michael! you're no angel iv seen bruises on girls after you've had your way with them!" he scremed starring into the boys eyes, I kept my head in Michales chest with one eye on Ashtons bright red face,  
"when I've had sex with them, you idiot! If they like it rough that's what they'll get, I don't do it to girls iv just met in a violent way! what the fuck is Barry going to say?"  
"fuck Barry", Ashton screeched back, "that's Taits dad not hers. I don't get why you're acting as if you care about Green..- I mean Piper, it's not as if you want any more than to fuck her tonight and move on to the next girls tomorrow?" his eyes were filled with tears and his face was an unnatural shade of red. Michael looked down at me and shook his head reassuring me it was true. Although ashton was probably right about what he just said, I couldn't help but feel so safe in Michaels embrace,  
"what and you don't?" Michael smirked up at the drunk boy and calum began to laugh behind michaels back. I saw ashton raise his hand above his head and I really did think he was going to swing for one us, but just then Luke deep voice boomed across the room and Ashton instantly stopping in his tracks  
"WHAT. THE FUCK. ARE YOU 4 PLAYING AT?", luke said pushing ashton away from me and Michael. no one said a word. I always thought that Luke was the quiet and reserved one of the group as he was the youngest, but i was totally wrong, you could see right now in this moment that Luke was the boss. Tait ran over to me and pulled me away from Michael and into her arms where I began to cry again, "Is anyone going to tell me what the fuck has happened in these past 10 minutes or not?"  
"he's drunk." Calum said sternly nodding towards Ashton. Ashtons face dropped to the floor as luke began to scream at him for what he had done. Luke suddenly pulled at my waist so that I was stood next to the 6 ft 4 giant. he gently held my tiny hand in his palm and examined my wrist that was now bruised and swollen. he forced Ashton to look at my wrist and he began to fall apart. apologizing to everyone for what he had done and demanding some water and aspirin. Luke politely asked Michael and Calum to go and get some and they obeyed. You could tell he was furious but he had lowered his voice and his posture had relaxed as he looked down at the drummer. "this isn't like you Ashton, you cant do things like this. You've hurt pip and in the process youv hurt Tait too and the whole band. you need to apologise and just hope and pray that Pip doesn't say anything to the press about the shit you've done!"  
"I..I swear I'm not going to say a word, I'm not like that. He didn't mean to," I said softly behind my whimpers. Ashton looked up and his eyes where a mix for green and firey red from where they had inflamed from his tears "I'm still so mad at you, Piper." his words were harsh and I felt his body stiffen up. "why though Ash, I don't know what I've done to hurt you?" I sobbed into as Luke put his arm around me and Tait held my waist, "because... because you're a slut Piper! you're gunna fuck Michael tonight and you say I'M the one that makes people feel special then drops them." everyone was in shock. I could not believe what he had just said to me. I looked up at Tait and he mouth had fell open, disbelief in her eyes too. Ashton grabbed his drum sticks from the seat next to hi and staggered over to Michael and Calum snatching the water and aspiring and downing the lot. he looked back at me our eyes locked for what seemed like forever before he broke away our gaze and walked onto the stage once more, screams of thousands of girls erupting.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is a short one I have writers block with this but I promise the next chapter will be so much better"

Despite Ashton still be drunk he played pretty well, but he didn't talk to the crowd like he normally did. he just played and smiled now and again. but it wasn't a real smile, it wasn't the smile I fell in love with on the tour bus. when the concert had finished Michael and Calum come off stage and ran straight up to me to see how I was. honestly, I felt like shit. Ashton hated me. Luke was with Tait cuddling as she told him what an amazing show theyd gave, he beckoned me over to them so I quickly shuffled across the room and to them,  
"so", Luke smiled, " We're gunna go out side in about an hour after we've eaten and stuff which you're come welcome to come to. then we'll go outside for an hour or 2 to meet everyone so in that time you can do whatever. but we'll meet on the bus about 12? is that okay?" he said looking at us both and we nodded in sync. 

it was 12:15am and the boys still weren't at the bus. I learned up against Gus (the bus) and watched as Tait paced back and forth fumbling with the ring she had on her pinky finger,  
"what if he's gone off with one of the fans?" she whispered as he peered over her shoulder to see no one could hear apart from me,  
"of course he hasn't Tait? he's with you tonight I promise!"  
she began to reply with "but what if.."  
"you and your 'What ifs' are driving me mad!" I chuckled at her and she seemed to begin to calm down. another 10 minutes passed as we stood in silence next to Gus. I wondered about what Ash was doing, maybe HE had found a fan he liked the look of and had invited her back to the tour bus. I was torn away from my thoughts when I heard foot steps and giggles coming towards us. the boys had had quite a bit to drink over dinner and I could tell it hard really hit them as the all came over to us.   
"hey guyssss" calum shouted as he pulled us both into a hug, who was then imidiatly ripped off us by luke who splutted  
"oi, Romeo, get your filthy paws off Tait, shes mine tonight" he giggled as he threw Tait a wink who about passed out in his arms with giddyness.  
I looked over at Ash who was stood with Michael. I'm glad theyd seemed to sort stuff out over dinner although you could tell it was still pretty awkward, the atmosphere was different.   
"fine!" calum annocunced, pulling me back into a hug, "i'll just hug Pip then, she'll hug me, she's nice" he chuckled and I returned the hug having to step on my tiptoes to actually get me arms around his neck. everyone always made out what an ass calum was but honestly, he seemed to be the nicest out of the 3 to be honest. he was reserved and laid back like me, I really related to him on that level. over calums shoulder I could see Michael and Ashton throwing daggers at the boy so I quickly pulled away from him making sure no fights were started again. Michael began to walk towards us and I was scared he was about to start a screaming match with Calum, but instead he threw an arm around the boy and said  
"come on Romeo, i'll hug you" as they both began to walk onto the tour bus with Luke and Tait following, leaving just me and Ashton outside.

the atmosphere suddenly got 100 times more awkward. we stood in silence and I just wanted the earth to swallow me up right there and then. I glanced up at Ashton who was playing with the hem of his jacket. he was perfection, even if he was a prick. he made me feel so insecure being stood next to him, I thought about their song "end up here" with the lyric "shes so fit im insecure" and laughed as it applied to this situation perfect, except it was him that was the "fit one"  
"whats funny?" Ashton asked bluntly as he took a step towards me. he scared me so much, I froze not knowing what to say, "well?" he said cocking his head to the side starring into my eyes.  
"n-nothing. Ash look," I blurted out unable to stop myself, "I'm sorry for upsetting you earlier. I didn't intend on doing any of this at all, making you and the lads fight, hating me, that's not what I wanted tonight to be about! and for the record I won't be sleeping with Michael tonight, im not just going to lose my virginity to someone because their a someone.." Ashtons eyes widened as the words fell out of my mouth, I could believe what I just said. I felt my face begin to glow a ruby colour as I mentally kicked myself to telling the boy you had fancied for so long you were a..  
"Virgin huh?" Ashton smirked but then his face turned serious again. he walked towards me until I could feel the warmth of his body next to mine. although I knew Ashton had sobered up from the incident that happened about 3 hours before, I couldn't help but still be scared, starring at his hands. as they moved I flinched away from him and his expression dropped, dissopointment spread across his face as he realized how scared he had got me. suddenly he wrapped his arms around me. he smelt of home, like clean sheets. my face buried into his neck as I tried not to cry and his cheek rested on my head.  
"im so sorry Pip, I'd never hurt you, or anyone, but never ever you." he gently pulled my chin up so that our faces were inches away. he flashed me the smile, the one I'd fallen inlove with on the tour bus yesterday and every angry feeling I had towards his vanished.


End file.
